Chubby me and not so chubby me...

Apart from the disgruntled look on my face(I tend to feel serious in self portraits...the flashy light always surprises me!) , you can probably tell that the Erin on the right (a year or so ago) is a tad more zaftig then the version on the left (today). I was feeling a little down today what with my holiday weakness for cookies causing my scale to slide up a bit...

I tried on my favorite dress to see what the damage was and the truth is, I'm still a lot smaller than I was last year. And, apart from my morose expression and my roots (I'm getting them done tomorrow, lest anymore of my dishwater blonde peeks out) this is the best I've ever felt or looked.I sent this picture to Tim and he said that he's always thought I was beautiful no matter what. I guess that is the only answer a man can give when his wife shows him the pudgy girl he fell in love with. ;)

All the same, I feel encouraged by the progress I've made. Plus today, we went rock climbing and I did 3 5.9 climbs. That is the best climbing day I've had to date. Tomorrow I am trying out my new Core Secrets with Gunnar Peterson, then maybe next year this time I'll have those rock hard abs I've always wanted. Or maybe the cookies will win... who knows? ;) 

Apparently...

Matthew McConaughey has been named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. Now, I know that he and I only shared a moment, but in that brief time I think I imparted some words of wisdom. He took my advice and started taking his shirt off more and more in public places. I think that is what really put him over the top.

So congratulations Matthew, all that hard work, freezing your nipples off really paid off!

*note: he did not however take any of my fashion advice. I told him that the puffy jacket thing made him look a little chubby. Down really isn't flattering on that many people.

That finger pointing up in this photo was indicative of his desire to become "Number One" sexiest man. It's that determination that really showed him worthy, I think. Either that or he's checking the direction of the wind. It's tough to say...

Impromptu 80's Dress up at John's Bday Party...

I wish I could explain why we did this, but the most important thing is that the results were hilarious. Happy Birthday John, we had a blast!

I came, I stuffed, and now... to bed. Happy Thanksgiving! :)

pics are here.

love,
~e

My centerpiece for my Thanksgiving Table...

Let it not be said that I only go overboard on Halloween, I extend that same psychosis to all Holidays... YAY THANKSGIVING!

P.s. That is all real food in my cornucopia...That's right people, I used real food! That being said, nobody better eat anything out of it until AFTER Thanksgiving... (SHEILA!) 

Thanks to MY first blog commenter...

I was inspired by this post from Neilochka's Blog, so I decided to wade back through my blog and find my first commenter... I had lots of comments from all of my friends, but my first comment from a fellow blogger came from Stephanie Klein, my blogger role model, if you will.

(read her comment)

and my reply....

Now, months later, I have a decent readership. Perfect strangers who think I'm strange enough that they want to read about my daily goings-on. So thank all of you out there... My readers from the U.K. and Italy.... the ones from Jersey and North Carolina, the ones from Illinois and all over this great land. Knowing you care enough to click on in to my world makes the blogging all worth while...

My Menu...

This is going to be such an amazing dinner! I can smell the succulent meats and sweets already... I am resolved to make everything will real butter, whole milk and plenty of sugar and liqour... Bourbon soaked raisins in the bread pudding, Cream and butter gently whipped into the fluffy potatoes... mmmmm! :) 

The blogging that might have been…

You might be asking yourself, “ Where is Erin? She’s not working, so she has no excuse for neglecting this blog for a whole week!” But you’d be a jerk for thinking this. Sure, I’ve had more down time which means I’ve been home to experience my cats getting Montezuma’s Revenge all over my new sofa. I’ve had time to ponder my self worth and eat my weight in cookies. I’ve had time to rearrange my closet and then yell at no one in particular when I couldn’t find anything. I’ve had time to plan my Thanksgiving menu, which I will post later so you guys can slobber over it… But mostly I’ve had time. Time that I am not used to having, and as Martha would say, “It’s a good thing…”

Random Sidebar: You must all go see, “Walk The Line”. One of the best movies I’ve seen in a while. If you hate Johnny Cash, you might not love it, but it’s still worth seeing. I’ve been yelling at strangers telling them to see it… That means it’s really really good.

I’m also working on our Christmas CD-Rom, full of Christmas Carols recorded by Tim and I (yeah, we sing and play instruments…pretty well I might add!) along with photos and a few more fun little doo-dad extras. If you want a copy, email me your address.

My going away dinner was fun, but we didn't really get any good photos... I put them on Flickr anyway though. I'll write more tomorrow, for now I need to go finish my bottle of wine. Um... I mean glass of wine. *slurp*

Love,
~e

(Just Plain) Erin Cooper

It’s hard to express how strange these past few days have been. I’m not really feeling that sad, which is an improvement. Yesterday was the first Sunday in ages where I didn’t go to bed with that feeling of dread about the next day. I spent my first weekend as a free woman livin’ it up with Tim. We had a fancy schmancy dinner at Cucina Colore on Thursday night. It was nice, but I really wasn’t in the mood to celebrate. The gravity of the situation was just hitting me and I wasn't feeling like myself... (for the record, my normal self LOVES Cucina Colore, their veal is to die for...)

But Friday I felt better, did some cleaning and laundry, hung out with Dane and had some drinks at the Irish Hound. Saturday was a blast. Tim and I went rock climbing for the first time together along with our friends Charleigh, Jeff and Jenny. Then that night we all went out to North and had a wonderful dinner. By yesterday I was feeling pretty happy about everything. Sheila came over to show me her wedding dress (it's LOVELY!) and then we logged some serious hours at the Cherry Creek Mall being girly. By bedtime last night, I really started to feel some sense of peace.

I know I'm not doing this alone. I have a wonderful husband who is an amazing support to me, I have great friends who provide so much love, laughter, and excitement in my life. And I have a paper shredder with which I can shred anything I want. I am sooo ready to do this...

I spent a little bit of time this morning working out an invoicing method for Tim’s projects. I cleaned out my desk at home and tried to get things set up so that I can work comfortably here at home. I think I’m finally starting to wrap my head around the huge change that is happening. It’s difficult because I feel like I’m still looking back a little bit. I’m not completely done with out-processing, so once that I really finished, I will probably feel a bit more closure.

And in other news, I think I need to get back on the wagon with my Pilates. I was watching Madonna on the Europe MTV awards and this woman… I mean, she’s older than my mom, and she doesn’t have an ounce of cellulite on her! Anyway, it’s back on the workout wagon for me.

I also wanted to say to those of you who have called and emailed me with support for my decision, I really really appreciate it. I think that deciding to leave the military, for me, was more difficult than deciding to join. Knowing that the people I care about think I can do it out here on my own, is very uplifting. You have helped me more than you know...

Thanks,

~e

Trying to smile through the sweat... 

Tim is really starting to look like Spider Man...

 

Cry Freedom

The future is no place
To place your better days
Cry freedom, cry
From a crowd 10,000 wide
Hope laid upon hope
That this crowd will not subside
Let this flag burn to dust
And a new a fair design be raised
While we wait head in hands,
Hands in prayer
And fall into a dreamless sleep again
-DMB

Well, that’s it. My time is finally up. My exit yesterday was a bit anticlimactic, and I have to remind myself that it’s really nothing new. Military people are trained to let people come and go easily. The military could never survive if it was a trial every time this sort of thing happened. Only two people that I started at Buckley with were there yesterday, everyone else has already moved on.

I went to go return my gas mask and mobility bag stuff to the LRS building out by the flight line and as I left the building, a group of F-16’s took off into the sky. It was deafening and as I watched them climb up into the empty sky over eastern aurora, I got so sad. Those moments are so awe inspiring and they won’t be the same for me after this.

I got news yesterday that my good friend Jessica is deploying to Iraq on New Years Day. That feeling that I should have gone, that feeling that I should have taken my place along side the others will always taint my time here. Not that I wanted to go, but I shouldn’t have let someone take my place. If I were a man, it would be completely unheard of for me to allow someone to take that place for me. Just because I’m a woman, I guess the shame is less. Less visible, but I’ll always feel like it was wrong of me to do that.

But I can’t make changes now. This is the end and it’s all done.

Who needs a drink?

A) Tomorrow is my last day at work. My final out processing appointment isn't until the 22nd, but I am officially through reporting to work after tomorrow. *sob* and *huzzah!* Still torn...

B) Sour skittles are stuff of the gods. I love these sour little bits of deliciousness. So what if they give me a sugar headache.

C) The show "The Office" is some of the best television entertainment I have seen in AGES! I order you all to Netflix both Series 1 & 2. *just to clarify, this is the BBC version...not the american version*

D) I'm really worried about Hilary Duff. If her teeth get any bigger and her face gets any thinner, she will look just like Mr. Ed. Not a good career move there Hilary...

I got my Commendation Medal today... 

a valley...

Days like this the dark cave of my bed with the warm side of my Tim, begs me to stay and ponder the white rays of cold, Denver sunlight piercing my morning. The memory of days like this will soon pass and in its place an unknown emotion that troubles me today. I cried during my out–processing meeting this morning. I keep thinking I’m over this separation, but I’m not. They should call it what it really is. Divorce. No matter how painful or what a rotten partner the military was, it still hurts me to say “the end”.

I drag my feet through the grey green motions of commander’s calls and meetings. All of those commitments speak volumes about the cut that separates me. It’s neither easy nor simple. It’s not like pulling off the bandage quickly. It’s that agonizing but necessary finish. I feel like that hiker who got pinned between the mountain and a rock and had to saw himself free using a pocket knife. It’s a bloody awful mess people. I feel like I’m letting everyone down. No one I know, mind you… all those people want me out.

I feel bad for the little old lady I saw at the market today who shyly smiled and said, “You look nice all dressed up like that”. I didn’t look nice, those cammies aren’t very flattering, but she looked at me like I was someone important. Even if my job isn’t defending her directly, it made her smile to see me. A simple reminder of all the other young men and women who are out there somewhere doing their best to serve the country they believe in.

The conflict isn’t hard to understand. My gut tells me this is alright and I shouldn’t feel bad for leaving, but my tears lead me to believe my gut hasn’t talked things over with the rest of me.

Daisy naps...

Port Orford News...

As some of you may know, I grew up in a small town on the southern Oregon Coast. Port Orford is a community of about 1,000 people. I still get the weekly paper sent to me and I think I’ve blogged about it here before. This week there is an interesting entry in the Port Orford Police Report. You have to read it to believe it.

Orlando Bloom and Gwen Stefani?

At Rick Sounders' martini party last night everyone that came in was given a name tag with a celebrity name on it. I was gunnin' for Bridget Bardot, and they gave me Gwen. *eh* I guess it's close enough.

For me personally, the party wasn't as fun as I was hoping. It's a major networking opportunity, but I get self conscious when I don't know anyone and so I really didn't work up the balls to talk to anyone.

This schmoozing thing is going to take a little finesse. I keep thinking we need to have a get together for all our friends in the industry. Maybe have a little mixer of our own. I know what you're thinking... "But Erin, didn't you just finish throwing a big ass party?" Well, I will tell you that the only thing I love more than Graphic Design is throwing parties. I love being the host and helping people have a good time. I don't even mind the cleaning up too much. I do mind when people barf on my lawn though... *ahem* you know who you are... 

Google Earth...

Is the coolest freakin' thing ever! I've been around the world tonight. I checked out the pyramids, Venice, St. Peter's Basilica, Paris, my hometown... All for free. :)

Anyway... In case anyone wants to visit... Here's my house!

World's Smallest Political Quiz

World's Smallest Political Quiz

Courtesy of Corrina

Apparently, I'm a liberal. Who knew? What are you?

"Make sure you join the reserves in case your husband divorces you..."

That was an actual quote from my Transition Assistance Class this afternoon. A tall spindly woman with an ugly scarf gave us a pep talk about joining the guard or reserves. She actually used the possibility of divorce as a selling point. And in case you were wondering, she glossed over the FACT that if you join the reserves you WILL end up in Iraq. Die for your country, at least you won’t be without a job when your husband leaves you.

Anyway, that is what I’m up to this week. I’m in a class, learning how to be a civilian, get a job, etc. It’s been pretty informative actually. And it’s reassuring to see most of the other people in my class are old enough to be my parents and they look way more scared than I do. Maybe it’s my youthful idealism, but I’m feeling pretty positive about this whole thing. Now that I’m past the deep depression about leaving my way of life, the future looks pretty bright.

Next week is my last full week on the job. Then after that, it’s home free. Literally, I’ll be at home, free of a job. Hopefully, I’ll have lots of freelance work to keep me busy. Tim is really excited about me being home, I’m not entirely sure it’s not because he won’t have to wash his own socks anymore. Or maybe because I won’t be so exhausted from work and getting up at the butt crack of dawn to go work. This could benefit him in a number of ways. He’ll probably get laid a lot more. :P

In case you were wondering, the Halloween Party was a blast. I think I’m still coming down from all the Halloween sugar I consumed. I think everyone had a wonderful time though and the costumes really kicked ass this year. I’m already thinking about my birthday party in May though… I’m thinking an 80’s party might be in order…